RULES OF THE BEACH

Ok - I am a teacher, just retired.   Making rules comes naturally to me so let me share with you the rules of the beach.
1.  The beach is a place of peace and relaxation.  Even while dragging a chair, bucket for shells, umbrella, nets, beach bag, purse, beach towel, drink, cell phone, and camera with you through the sand.
2.   Even though the beach all looks the same, always drag all the above items further down the beach for no reason what so ever.

3.  Toenails must be appropriately painted.  No polish would just be......wrong.

4.  Be prepared that those perfectly pedicured toenails are not even seen because of sandy feet.

5.  Know that the salt spray will cause your hair to feel like sticky straw and your sunglasses to become a salt-foggy mess.   (But keep those sunglasses on at all times.  A true beach goer must at all times display the true cool-beach babe look.)

6.  Even though clueless about surfing and skin boarding - feel free to give advice.  I am sure that these talented beach surfers want your help. 

7.  Beware of those that wish to steal from you.  Turn your back and a bag of chips can disappear faster than a crab can grab your toe. 
8.  When it is time to go, you will drag  your chair, umbrella, and supplies back to the car wondering WHY did I set up so far from the car?  Leave the sand on the beach, even though it seems that buckets full end up in the car no matter how long you rinse and brush off sand.
9.  A red nose means  - whoops!!!  You forgot the suntan lotion again.
A true beach babe happily follows the above rules - because she knows she lives in paradise!